I
am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the THE FOWL TWINS: GET WHAT THEY DESERVE by
Eoin Colfer Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar
Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to
enter the giveaway!
About
The Book:
Author: Eoin Colfer
Pub. Date: November
23, 2021
Publisher: Disney-Hyperion
Formats: Hardcover,
Paperback, eBook, Audiobook
Pages: 320
Find it: Goodreads, Amazon, Kindle, Audible, B&N, iBooks, Kobo, TBD, Bookshop.org
Irish Twins Myles and Beckett, Artemis Fowl's younger brothers, return in their third and most bizarre adventure yet.
For almost two years, Lord Teddy Bleedham-Drye, the Duke of Scilly, has been plotting revenge against the Fowl Twins, who humiliated him in Book One. Teddy plans to give them exactly what they deserve: permanent death.
He threatens Myles with his weaponized jet and Beckett and Specialist Lazuli
succeed in disarming the aircraft and causing an accident that kills the duke.
But does it really?
Ghosts, clones, and fairy magic come to play in this ultimate and ridiculous
showdown between the twins and their worst enemy.
Review:
*Like its bestselling progenitors, a nonstop
spinoff afroth with high-tech, spectacular magic, and silly business.--Kirkus (starred
review)
Excerpt
PROLOGUE
THERE are those who believe that true
love is humankind’s greatest motivator.
Those people
are sweet but completely wrong.
Certainly
true love is a powerful force, but the actual greatest motivator of all is
undoubtedly revenge. Humans will climb the highest tower for love but then
murder everyone inside that tower for revenge.
And then
possibly demolish the tower.
Once someone
commits to a course of vengeance, the changes inside begin: Their heart becomes
petrified so that love may not enter. Their senses of reason and perspective are
cauterized so that good judgment shall never prevail. And any code of decency
that they may have lived by is replaced by a single commandment: Thou shalt
do whatsoever needs to be done.
This is the
story of one such revenger and the children he would cheerfully go to the ends
of the earth to have his revenge upon. It is also the story of what those
children were up to that summer, as these were not the kind of youngsters to
simply laze around waiting for vengeance to be visited upon them.
The man was
Lord Teddy Bleedham-Drye, the Duke of Scilly, and the children, you may be less
than surprised to learn, were the Fowl Twins.
It may seem
unlikely that a peer of the British realm would devote his precious time to the
killing of twelve-year-old Irish twins, but these particular boys had
grievously wronged the duke, and Lord Teddy was determined to repay them in
kind, by which he meant slay them in a convoluted and epic manner. For decades
Lord Teddy had been consumed by two objectives:
1. Live as
long as possible (one hundred and fifty years plus so far). And . . .
2. Mount a
claim to the British throne. But for this he would need the Lionheart ring,
which we shall come to later.
And now
Teddy had developed a third obsession: killing those blasted twins.
It may also
occur, if a person is at all familiar with the notorious Fowl Twins, that the
duke’s chances of putting one over on Myles and Beckett were slim at best. But
Lord Bleedham-Drye was something of a specialist in the art of vengeance. This
was not, as American humans might say, his first rodeo.
In point of
fact, Lord Teddy considered the Fowl crusade to be the third epic revenge
campaign in his one-hundred and- fifty-year life. His first was hunting the
border-fens fox to extinction simply because one had stolen a salmon sandwich
from Queen Victoria’s fingers at a picnic he was hosting, which was simply
devastating for the duke, as it put the brakes on his plan to become her second
husband, the most direct route to the crown. The second quest for vengeance is
quite famous in the annals of American crime history, as there was quite a
gruesome spate of homicides of snake-oil salesmen in the western states during the
mid-twentieth century. Lord Teddy had visited such a salesman in California and
purchased a life-extending elixir. The concoction had brought on a series of
catastrophic bowel movements while he was attending an opera at the governor’s
mansion. So outraged was the duke by this public humiliation that he did away
with the entire network of salesmen over the following season. Of course Teddy
had dealt many other swift retributions, but he did not count these as proper
revenges, as the duke agreed with Charles Dickens, who wrote: Vengeance and
retribution require a long time; it is the rule.
Lord Teddy
considered the Fowls worthy of a campaign, because he could honestly say that
no human beings living or dead had infuriated him more than the twins. Not only
had they avoided being permanently murdered, but they had also utterly ruined
Lord Teddy’s birth body, thus forcing the duke to have his living brain
transferred into a cloned host. To cap it all, they put a rather big hole in
his front lawn. And as every royal correspondent knows, nothing matters more to
a duke than his daffodils.
No, Teddy
old boy, the duke told himself. The Fowl blighters simply have to go, and that
is all there is to it.
And so Lord
Teddy laid his elaborate and unnecessarily complicated plans, resolving that on
this occasion he would take pains not to underestimate the Irish boys as he had
in the past.
Ishi Myishi,
Lord Teddy’s closest friend and arms dealer to the world’s criminal
masterminds, had once told him: He who commits his life to revenge is
already dead, but this did not deter the duke from his course in the least,
because his plan actually depended on him being dead.
I will be
completely and undeniably deceased, thought Teddy as he reclined in the brass
bathtub of electric eels where he did the lion’s share of his plotting. And
that will be my advantage.
About Eoin Colfer:
Eoin
Colfer is the
author of the New York Times best-selling Artemis Fowl series,
which was adapted into a major motion picture from the Walt Disney Studios. He
also wrote the critically acclaimed WARP trilogy, and many other titles for
young readers and adults, including Iron Man: The Gauntlet, Airman, Half
Moon Investigations, Eoin Colfer's Legend of . . . books, The
Wish List, Benny and Omar; and Benny and Babe. In
2014, he was named Ireland's laureate for children's literature. He lives with
his wife and two sons in Dublin, Ireland, where he is working on the next Fowl
twins novel. To learn more, visit www.eoincolfer.com. He is also on Twitter and
Instagram @EoinColfer.
Website
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Giveaway
Details:
3 winners will win a finished copy of THE FOWL TWINS: GET WHAT THEY DESERVE, US Only.
a Rafflecopter giveawayTour Schedule:
Week One:
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11/22/2021 |
Excerpt |
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11/23/2021 |
Excerpt |
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11/24/2021 |
Excerpt |
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11/25/2021 |
Excerpt |
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11/26/2021 |
Excerpt |
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11/27/2021 |
Review |
Week Two:
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11/28/2021 |
Review |
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11/29/2021 |
Review |
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11/30/2021 |
Review |
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12/1/2021 |
Review |
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12/2/2021 |
Review |
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12/3/2021 |
Review |
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12/4/2021 |
Review |
Week Three:
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12/5/2021 |
Review |
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12/6/2021 |
Review |
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12/7/2021 |
Review |
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12/8/2021 |
IG Post |
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12/9/2021 |
Review |
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12/10/2021 |
Review |
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12/11/2021 |
Review |
Week Four:
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12/12/2021 |
Review |
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12/13/2021 |
Review |
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12/14/2021 |
Excerpt |
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12/15/2021 |
Review |
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12/16/2021 |
Excerpt & IG Post |
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12/17/2021 |
Review |
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12/18/2021 |
Review |
Week Five:
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12/19/2021 |
Review |
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12/20/2021 |
Excerpt |
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12/21/2021 |
Review |
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12/22/2021 |
Excerpt |
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